Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize