Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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