ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
