Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just want to make out with him forever
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
