Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
