I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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