it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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