Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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