Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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