just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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