Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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