Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
