you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am midnight drunk by noon
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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