Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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