she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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