if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I bet he comes in French.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
