it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
