sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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