i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
