I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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