Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
