This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you win again, gameday.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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