Ambien. No doubt about it.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
