i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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