Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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