I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
