You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
