I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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