if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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