I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Duck Duck Cougar?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
