I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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