The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
