My first STD was from a foam party
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you traded sex for a burrito?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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