My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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