I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
