dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
