I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
