And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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