He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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