There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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