True but thats because hes a fetus.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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