careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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