it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
false alarm, still single
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
