and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
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Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
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I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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