READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
