Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
