i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
