The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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