a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just found puke in my bra..
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
