My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
