Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
