you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood