That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila