I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.