you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.