hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.