i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
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You. Win. At. Life.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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