I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
