Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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