i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
