When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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