We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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