He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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