You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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