So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
