She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
