When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
