I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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