It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
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Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
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I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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