We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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