dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
